Guilt from your significant other...

So, one of the topics we discussed at last night's GAL workshop was how relationships can sometimes get in our way of having a life. More specifically, how many busy women feel guilty and weighed down by their companions for being the busy women that they have always been (even when they met him!).

I know what you're thinking -- isn't the whole point of GAL to slow down all the busy-ness and focus on the relaxing parts of life, like hanging out with your significant other? Absolutely. But, it's hard to get there when your companion is making you feel bad for all the things you do and have always done. And the truth is, if you weren't the women that you are, he wouldn't have fallen for you in the first place.

At any rate, I wanted to share a few thoughts I had after the discussion was over... things that we can all try to do to make sure we're maintaining true balance across all fronts of our lives.

• If Mr. Companion/Hubby/Significant Other is complaining or acting weird about you running around all the time, figure out what the real reason is. Is it simply that you don't spend enough time with him? Is he unhappy with the fact that HE doesn't have a hobby? Does he hate work? Did he come home and wanna vent and you weren't there? Or, are you just not what he expected in a wife? I would hate to see you GALs start working from home or rearranging schedules only to find out that his problem was not really time.
  

• Make a dedicated time to spend with him. If you can schedule your mani-pedis, then you can give your man a dedicated period of time weekly or semiweekly. And stick to it. Even if you just watch TV all day, let that time be uninterrupted with him.

• Multi-task a bit. Invite him to run around with you some days in exchange for you cutting back on your schedule.

• Lastly, stop feeling guilty. If you want to change, then change. But feeling guilty will only breed resentment and you'll be even less willing to compromise with him or hear him out.

Good luck GALs. We live in an odd society that expects us to be all things to all people. Redefine your own roles... and stay tuned for my next post about the new millennium marriage!

Visit www.getalifecampaign.com for more tips and a copy of "The Get A Life Campaign!"