Fighting the urge to do nothing...

Update: I finally found the sun, which is nice... and my mood is grateful.

For the last few days, various friends and I have been chatting about the art of having fun and having a life. The main two issues that have come up most often are living alone versus with someone, being single versus married and relaxation versus going out on the town.

So the first issue...

In moving to CT for the new job, I notice that it's been different than all of my other moves because this is my first move not being single. Theoretically, that shouldn't make a difference, but there's something about being able to go out whenever you feel like it, invite folks over at any time for drinks or dinner, or flirt with random people that somehow facilitates getting to know people. Well, I can't do that now for two reasons.
But, as much as I used to enjoy my freedom to meet new people without fear of ill-intentions or ulterior motives, it's still nice to have a family to come home to after a hellish day at work. Sometimes, I think that if they weren't here on most days I would have crumbled by now... just floating without a center or a bigger reason to reconnect with the normal world outside of the hospital.

So the question is, which is better, or is each "better" in their own ways? Is there a way to have both (family and freedom), even after kids? What do you think?
The second issue...

After a tiring day/week/month at work, school, or plain 'ole life... isn't it super hard to fight the desire to just do nothing? Don't get me wrong. Doing nothing is totally acceptable under the GAL creed. But, sometimes I think it makes us hermit-like to the point that when we want to go out, no one is around because we've alienated ourselves.

To piggyback on the first issue, when the family went out of town one weekend, I noticed that I didn't really have anyone to go party with here. That's what made me realize that I had become a hermit, but I'm still not sure if it's due to my work schedule or my new family-oriented lifestyle. I'd like to think that even with the schedule, if I was here by myself I would have wandered to a pub or two with my co-workers or taken up the many offers to go see a movie or a play. But, who knows? My last move to a new location was 6 years ago, so maybe I'm just getting OLD! (gasp)
My pact to myself...

So my personal pact to myself is not to let myself be totally hermit-like... To not only make it a point to couple-fun stuff, but also invite folks over to the house on the nights that I can't go out on the town... Or, spend that time catching up on work so the days when we DO have a babysitter or the fam is gone out of town, I am free to party like a rockstar (like last weekend in Jersey... man, that was a fun night!).

But, getting rest is still key. I already know I can't party three nights a week til 4am and be functional at work at 8am like I used to. Some things have changed. Sorry.

In the land of gloom and exhaustion...

So, I know as #1 GAL I'm supposed to be invincible to the blues, but I'm not.

I finally got a chance to get some rest and I actually feel worse than when I was ripping and running. I'm so exhausted this week, I can't believe how my body is betraying me. And I have no interest in leaving the bed, let alone the house, or even pretending to deal with anyone's crap today. But alas, I have no choice. I've gone through all of the possible medical reasons I could feel this way (of course) and all I can deduce is maybe it's hormonal. I hope that's all it is.

Granted -- I know I have many reasons to feel pooped out, the crazy schedule, the emotions involved with taking care of patients, being a doctor for the first time and so on... but even sleep-deprived, dehydrated, forgetting to pee for 5 hours, having a stomach virus (twice since June), a sinus infection, and caffeine withdrawal never had me feeling like this. I'm stumped.

The other related factor is we're on day #6 of straight gloom up here and I think it's severely taking its toll. I have faith that the sun will show its face again before the fall comes... I do. But, until then, I will continue to fall asleep in weekly lectures, lose my temper at things I used to ignore, dread going to work, and hit the snooze button 50 times before I actually get up (instead of my usual 25 times).

I thought things would be on the upswing soon, given my very specific horoscope from tarot.com on Tuesday...

"Reality has an obstacle or two to place in your way now, as Saturn is in its final week of visiting your sign. Consider the extraordinary pressures you have faced since August, 2005, to see what you can learn from the past two years. Remember, awareness is crucial; if you can understand your role in what's happening, then you can push through to the other side."

But, alas, I'm still in the land of gloom and my h'scopes from yesterday and today are even more depressing. I think I need to find something to help re-center myself. Maybe I'll go shopping for sun lamps soon... This one looks good:


http://www.bizrate.com/homelighting/oid390817901.html

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better and brighter day --



-Dr. Ty

Fall Tour | FREE GAL Forums

FREE Forums For Busy Women!

Whether you're at crossroads in your career, love life, education, family matters, or your secret desires for more out of life, come talk with Dr. Tyeese Gaines Reid about how to get the life you want and deserve. Autographed copies of her Dr. Reid's new book, "The Get A Life Campaign" will be available for purchase at the events.

Saturday, September 15th
2:00pm
Borders Books & Music
6 Wayside Road
Burlington, MA


Friday, October 19th
6:00pm
Hue-Man Bookstore (Harlem)
2319 Frederick Douglass Blvd
Between 124th & 125th Streets
New York City

For more information about GAL events, please email events@getalifecampaign.com
Check the website for new dates at http://www.getalifecampaign.com

When the clock is not your friend

So, when you work 80 hours a week, that leaves about 88 hours a week to not be at work. Sounds like a lot huh?? Well, if I divvy that up between 7 days, that leaves a little over 12 hours a day. Then, I figure at least 2 hours of every day is used to eat/drive to work/brush my teeth/shower/get dressed/pee/poop, leaving 10 hours a day. 8 of those are supposed to be for sleeping. The remaining 2 is what I have left to call friends & family, play with my son, kiss my husband, consider organizing the house or cooking, go to the store, read up on some random medical topic or just plain ole' breathe.

Choices, choices...

This week was the first week in a long time when that was not my routine. And looking back, that schedule was a nightmare. While not all of you official "work" 80 hours a week, I'm sure once you substitute the hours you spend at school, taking care of family, and running crucial errands, you could easily be in the 80-hour nightmare right along with me.

I have to admit it's been a true challenge to the GAL spirit. During that time, I was not being the most social or the most involved at home, but I did the best I could and tried to still carve out at least 15 minutes of peace for myself to do something special or fun.

So I pose the question: What do you do with your 15 minutes?

All of our schedules are ridiculous and overbooked. That's just the way our society is. But, the lesson to be learned is that free time doesn't exist unless you make it exist. If I never believed it before, I do now. I consciously force myself to just sit still and forget about the rat race outside for at least 15 minutes out of every day, whether I'm blasting my favorite song, daydreaming about a tropical place, or squeezing in 7 pages of a good book. Make your 15 minutes happen, and live them up...

Let's try it together!

When mean people make it hard to smile...

From hour 22 of my 30 hour shift...

I try. I try to be a good, nice, polite and positive person - especially at work. I really do. But, sometimes it becomes incredibly difficult, especially when you try to maintain positivity against many different uh... personalities, to say the least.

Like people who are snappy or rude for no reason even though you are dang near talking to them through a smile. Or, people who yell at you even though they're in the wrong. Or people who completely don't respect personal boundaries and bump into you without apologizing, or the ones who let the elevator doors close even though they can hear your heels clacking on the floor. Why, people? Is it REALLY that difficult to just be nice back to someone who hasn't done anything wrong to you (yet)?

Miss Co-worker: I was not that guy in the Civic who cut you off in traffic this morning. I did not burn your coffee at Dunkin Donuts. I did not steal the batteries out of your unreliable alarm clock. Scout's honor, it wasn't me.

That being said, I had my own obstacles to getting to work (on time) with a smile. The least you can do is not chop my head off the second I open my mouth -- pretty please.

I share this, one because I totally need to vent before I write off the entire human race as a bunch of ill-mannered heathens... and two, because it's such an important GAL philosophy to put out positive energy, but in reality it is something that we all have to battle to maintain. It's much easier said than done in a society that always wants to complain about something and always wants someone to blame or blow up on. Unfortunately, that steam is often blown on the person with the biggest smile and the cheeriest, "Good morning!" But, you have to stay positive. WE have to stay positive. No matter how much the negative people wanna break us down.

But -- at the same time, you don't have to be a wimp. Make people accountable for their actions and emotions. After being snubbed at work (or watching someone mumble under their breath at me), I am quick to say, "I'm sorry. You seem really pissed off. Did I say something to offend you? I wasn't trying to, I just wanted to .... " Or, I'll remind them that we're on the same team so there's no need to get upset. It makes people realize that their internal emotions are now external and they can't play passive-aggressive anymore. They have to either own up to their anger and we can put it behind us, or back down and realize (embarrassed) how unprofessional they were.

You may be saying to yourself, I don't even care that much about how he/she feels and maybe you don't. But you're trying to be positive and remove any tension in your immediate environment. No stress, no drama, no arguments brewing, no eye-cutting from across the office. Confront the issue head on, get it over with. And be POSITIVE.

If that doesn't work, make a sign out of construction paper that reads: "I am having a bad day too, so please don't take yours out on me." HMMM... where is my marker???