Guilt from your significant other...

So, one of the topics we discussed at last night's GAL workshop was how relationships can sometimes get in our way of having a life. More specifically, how many busy women feel guilty and weighed down by their companions for being the busy women that they have always been (even when they met him!).

I know what you're thinking -- isn't the whole point of GAL to slow down all the busy-ness and focus on the relaxing parts of life, like hanging out with your significant other? Absolutely. But, it's hard to get there when your companion is making you feel bad for all the things you do and have always done. And the truth is, if you weren't the women that you are, he wouldn't have fallen for you in the first place.

At any rate, I wanted to share a few thoughts I had after the discussion was over... things that we can all try to do to make sure we're maintaining true balance across all fronts of our lives.

• If Mr. Companion/Hubby/Significant Other is complaining or acting weird about you running around all the time, figure out what the real reason is. Is it simply that you don't spend enough time with him? Is he unhappy with the fact that HE doesn't have a hobby? Does he hate work? Did he come home and wanna vent and you weren't there? Or, are you just not what he expected in a wife? I would hate to see you GALs start working from home or rearranging schedules only to find out that his problem was not really time.
  

• Make a dedicated time to spend with him. If you can schedule your mani-pedis, then you can give your man a dedicated period of time weekly or semiweekly. And stick to it. Even if you just watch TV all day, let that time be uninterrupted with him.

• Multi-task a bit. Invite him to run around with you some days in exchange for you cutting back on your schedule.

• Lastly, stop feeling guilty. If you want to change, then change. But feeling guilty will only breed resentment and you'll be even less willing to compromise with him or hear him out.

Good luck GALs. We live in an odd society that expects us to be all things to all people. Redefine your own roles... and stay tuned for my next post about the new millennium marriage!

Visit www.getalifecampaign.com for more tips and a copy of "The Get A Life Campaign!"

Busy New Yorkers -- Last workshop/signing of 2007 this FRIDAY!

NY's busy women... Learn to make time for what you want!

Talk & Signing for "The Get A Life Campaign" with Dr. Tyeese Gaines Reid

Whether you're at crossroads in your career, love life, education, family matters, or your secret desires for more out of life, come talk with Dr. Tyeese Gaines Reid about how to get the life you want and deserve.

Autographed copies of her Dr. Reid's new book, "The Get A Life Campaign" will be available for purchase at the event.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 19TH, 6PM

HUE-MAN BOOKSTORE, HARLEM

2319 FREDERICK DOUGLASS BLVD BETWEEN 124TH & 125TH STREETS

HARLEM/NEW YORK CITY

~~~~~~~~~~~

"The Get A Life Campaign" pocket guide gives you tips on:

* How to squeeze free time into an impossible schedule
* Why men will always have lives (and what we can learn)
* The pitfalls to finally getting a life
* How to maneuver with little money
* Livening up your surroundings
* How dating relates to having a life
* And more…

What others are saying about GAL:

"A book every woman needs..."
- Syndicated radio DJ & author WENDY WILLIAMS

"Great for busy women who are struggling with their lives and want some change…"
- MICHELLE DUNN, AUTHOR

"Very highly recommended, life-changing, occasionally inspiring reading…"
- MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW

"Written in layman's terms, an easy going style and a relaxed format…"
- ALLBOOKS REVIEW

For more information about the book and author, visit http://www.getalifecampaign.com.

Thanks to those who voted...

... but I didn't win the self-help category at the African American Literary Awards Show. In my defense, it was a pretty tough category (Russell Simmons, Denzel Washington, T.D. Jakes, Alex Ellis and me). There was a tie between Alex Ellis, author of "Restoring The Male Image: A look from the inside out" and T.D. Jakes for "Reposition Yourself: Living Your Life Without Limits."

Troy Johnson of aalbc.com and me

Even though I didn't win, it was a great honor to be surrounded by such great literary minds. Maybe next book!

To see more pictures from the event, visit The African American Literature Book Club site at: http://events.aalbc.com/2007aalas.htm