Carrie Fever - the plague of the friendless?

It's funny.

First, I posted my billboard advertisement for women friends like Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda in my February post: Has Sex And The City Misled Us?

Then, I chronicled our freedom-filled, fun-filled SATC themed weekend in Chicago (not even a week ago -- where did the time go??), complete with pics of the crowds of women dressed to the 'nines and in groups of no less than 4 (of course) lined up to see our favorite GALs on the big screen.

Now, Irene S. Levine writes to her graduating readers to hold on to their friends: "the gift that keeps on giving," and uses us poor souls (SATC movie flockers) as an example of how women don't have enough good friends (Thanks a lot, Irene!). But, despite my bruised ego, her tips do include solid advice:

Make yourself a promise to keep up with your school chums---especially the ones with whom you have been able to share both happiness and heartbreaks. As you age and life becomes more complex and demanding, you'll realize that you have given yourself the most wonderful treasure. A few of the basics:

1) Always make friendship a priority (right up there after family). If you need a rationale to convince you, here it is: Research shows that social support and close friendships are linked to improved health and emotional well-being.

2) Get rid of toxic friendships that are consistently negative and emotionally draining. We all have one or two gal pals that are annoying to be with, people we feel ambivalent about and who probably feel ambivalent about us. Just let go of them.

3) Find any excuse to create rituals to stay in touch with the good friends. It shouldn't be a one-time affair. Make a plan to get together every month or at least several times a year. It can be on milestone birthdays or periodic girlfriend getaway jaunts. Or even the opening of a long-awaited chick flick!

4) In-between, use every way possible to stay connected via cell phones, Blackberries, and old-fashioned letters until the next time your see each other.

Female graduates: Congratulations---Go forth with your friends!

We actually had a similar discussion during our trip -- which friends are more valuable to us: the ones we've known forever and who remember our unrefined selves (braces, horrible fashion sense, deadbeat boyfriends), or the new friends whose lives may be more similar to our current ones?

The vote was mixed, but we agreed, there is merit in both types of friendships. You can certainly outgrow old friends, and you never want to be stagnant, but it's nice to remember the old times. Sometimes, it's just what I need when I feel life is getting too complicated -- go home, and trade silly, boy crazy stories with my high school friends, and feel more grounded.

However, if you're the first of your friends to get married or have a kid or advance your career, it can be lonely. And that's where the new friends come in (or, if your childhood friend develops a nasty habit or a taste for backstabbing -- enter the replacements).

If you're one of the lucky ones who has an old friend who still loves you despite your younger self, and has a life similar to the older you (career, relationship, family, interests), keep that friendship in a choke hold! -- and count your blessings.

My Rutbreakers style find: Like.com, where you can find outfits based on style and color across a bunch of different stores. Check it out!


Dr. Ty
From the GAL Blog
www.getalifecampaign.com

Rutbreakers #1: Frumpy v. Budget

I hate shopping (I know I probably lost half of my readership just with that line).

Sorry, I do. It's the lines, the congestion, unhelpful sales associates, and the STRESS of trying to find THE perfect outfit because I know I can't afford TEN outfits (Let's not even talk about trying to find clothes that fit women with curves without gapping, sagging or falling off).

I do like nice, new things. If only I could have a personal shopper with my exact proportions... (dreamily jotting that on my to do list)

Anyway. In my primary profession, style and fashion does not win you brownie points, nor does it help you do your job. Sometimes, it can even get in the way or leave you with a hefty dry cleaning bill. So, we wear scrubs. Some women look great in them, as if they were tailored to their physique. Me? Not a chance.


So, in my efforts to fight my most recent rut, I have vowed to start dressing like an adult (a cute adult) and leave my scrubs (which look like PJ's on me) at home as much as I can.

That sounds great except for one thing: I'm BROKE. If I wasn't broke, the new car has now made me broke. And most of my clothes either don't fit (too big or too small), are out of style, or have rips/tears/stains.

There's a light at the end of the tunnel --

Sarah Jessica Parker launched a line called Bitten at Steve And Barry's. Are you ready for this? Everything in the store is $8.98 and under. Yes, as in less than NINE bucks. Pants, blouses, shoes, accessories, the whole nine. If you don't like SJP's line, there are others in the store.
TIP: If you don't like what your closest S&B's has, try checking others. I have been in two so far and the selections varied greatly.

I was just so happy to find NON-frumpy clothes at prices that didn't knock me back into the rut off of buyers' remorse. I didn't know what to do with myself.

Target also has a few designers at affordable prices (and you don't have to step foot in the store). Let's not forget the oldies but goodies: Forever21, H&M.

Gone are the days of having to bankrupt yourself to be stylish. Just in time.

Dr. Ty
From the GAL Blog
www.getalifecampaign.com